Woman at a desk looking very tired in front of her laptop

“How did it go with your GP last week, Kate? “, I asked as she made herself comfortable on the Pilates Reformer in my studio.

“Oh, it was a bit of a waste of time really, if I’m honest. I told her my symptoms. The not sleeping, the anxiety issues and just feeling out of sorts generally. She was sympathetic for the ten mins I was in there, but her only solution was to put me off HRT as she felt I was too young. Instead, she recommended I try some anti-depressants. I know I’m not depressed though. It was obvious I knew more about HRT and this stage of my life just from my own research on Google. I think I will have to save up to go privately and see a Menopause specialist to get the understanding on my options. I’ve already investigated booking in with a couple of private clinics but most of them have a waiting list from 3-6 months.” Kate sighed.

I felt sad for Kate as I know she has been struggling with peri-menopausal symptoms for over six months now. I admired her proactive approach to getting help/finding a solution. I could certainly empathise as I have been there and got the T-shirt just a few years earlier.

Kate is successful at juggling her life around her corporate career, marriage, mum to two children at Uni and taking care of elderly parents. It seems so unfair that when women proactively try to get advice and help about Peri-menopause, there is a confusing response from GP’s who are the first port of call. If I had a £1 for every client who has had a similar experience to Kate, I would be able to set up a GoFundME page for anyone who needs that support at this important stage of life.

Kate’s story isn’t unusual – She is 47 years old. She is emotionally intelligent and self aware. She has always looked after herself with a good wellbeing programme. She was keen a runner in the past. An injury introduced her to Pilates and these days she jogs for fun with her dogs, goes the gym and does Pilates twice a week. Her life is fairly balanced despite being busy and there are a lot of people relying on her. Her health is really important to her so she can live a full life and support others. I know one interaction with an unknowledgeable GP wasn’t going to put Kate off finding a solution. However, what about the many women who may have ended up on a journey of anti-depressants thanks to the lack of knowledge and training around womens needs during midlife?

Kate is not alone at all in these challenges we face during peri-menopause. The body we once knew so well, now seems to have been replaced by an alien body we have no idea how to care for.

I’ve taught Pilates for over 25 years in various settings and more so now in my Reformer Studio I often hear first hand how mid-life women really struggle to get the help they need.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some women I’ve witnessed, who have sailed through this time of life fairly unscathed, without any need for help at all. However, in my experience they are rare. Most of us, do need advice, mentoring and assistance.

We may need physical interventions to help like HRT, but also just as important for our mental health we may need support to understand what is happening to our bodies and the ripple effects it has on our lives. Only then can we find a tailored solution that is right for our own personal wellbeing. There is ‘no one size solution that fits all’.

It is incredulous that even now after all increased publicity via Davina McCall, Caroline Harris MP, Dr Newsome, Lisa Snowden and many more mid life female pioneers stepping up, that women are still not getting the help and advice they need. It also doesn’t really strike the equality chord when to get good advice/help it is something we have to pay for and can only be accessed by those who can afford it.

I know from my own experience and from my conversations with clients just like Kate, that finding a reliable source of advice is often the first hurdle. Until GP’s have fully trained specialists at every surgery, our only option is to help ourselves.

The good news is, there is help out there. It is just a case of finding out which is right for you. So if you are feeling that niggle that something isn’t quite right as you approach this phase in your life, please don’t suffer in silence. Even if your first attempt at getting help has not worked out, don’t give up hope. From my own experience and observations of others here's three ideas which may make a difference:-

1. Connection with other women who are experiencing this phase of life. Menopause is no longer a taboo subject. There are a variety of support groups available on social media. Or you can find local face to face groups which focus on wellbeing through menopause, so it’s worth checking out your community group activities locally. Yoga or Pilates studios are worth checking out. Sometimes too, it’s worth opening up the conversation with your girl friends and female relatives as they may have some pearls of wisdom and inspiration. This is an important time of life, the beginning of a new and exciting phase so be open minded and gather as much information as possible to help you find the right path for you.

2. Take Time out – if the Pandemic has left any positive legacy, it has taught us all the power of timeout. Taking time to rest, pursue a hobby, or get out in the fresh air is necessary for us all. We cannot function on empty for long so make time to recharge your batteries. Rest and recharge is as important as exercise and good nutrition and it is essential to wellbeing and longevity.

3. Exercise/Wellbeing is no longer a luxury, it is a necessity. During mid life especially we need exercise to help protect our bones, align posture, boost immunity and help balance the human systems. Your exercise choice needs to be enjoyable and achievable. Most importantly of all, you need to develop the habit of exercise so by finding something you enjoy and feel you can do even though it may be challenging is far more likely to adopted long term. Plus you can progress it as you get fitter and adapt it. A wellbeing programme which takes account of flexibility, strength, cardio-vascular and connects movement to mindset gives a holistic approach and will help get those beneficial endorphins increasing through your being.

Guest post written by Sonia Todd

Sonia Todd is a Level 3 Pilates Practitioner and Wellbeing Coach.

She has a wonderful Pilates studio in Warwickshire in the UK. www.pilatesgallery.com

“How did it go with your GP last week, Kate? “

Guest post written by Sonia Todd